Fedor Facts

Chuck Norris's Reign Of Terror Is Over & Fedor's Has BegunFEDOR FACTS!!!1 --- Some kids piss their name in the snow. Fedor can piss his name into concrete2 --- Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Fedor can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell he wants3 --- Fedor counted to infinity - twice4 --- Fedor once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands5 --- Fedor's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Fedor6 --- Fedor can speak braille7 --- Fedor's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried8 --- Fedor was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds9 --- Fedor died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him10 --- Fedor puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter"11 --- Superman owns a pair of Fedor pajamas12 --- Fedor can slam revolving doors13 --- Fedor sleeps with a night light. Not because Fedor is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Fedor14 --- Once a cobra bit Fedor' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died15 --- Fedor was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.16 --- Fedor does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Fedor goes killing17 --- Fedor divides by zero18 --- Fedor's wristwatch has no numbers on it. It just says, "Time to kick ass."19 --- When Fedor gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live20 --- Fedor is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Fedor21 --- Giraffes were created when Fedor uppercutted a horse22 --- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Fedor23 --- Fedor' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Fedor will not take crap from anyone24 --- Fedor has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants25 --- Fedor is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face26 --- When Fedor exercises, the machine gets stronger27 --- Fedor doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."28 --- Fedor can build a snowman out of rain29 --- Fedor once had a heart attack; his heart lost30 --- Fedor plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins31 --- Fedor can kill two stones with one bird32 --- M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Fedor can touch this33 --- Fedor once killed a bird by throwing it off a cliff34 --- The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Fedor didn't kill you in your sleep35 --- Fedor once punched a man in the soul36 --- Fedor did that to Michael Jackson's face37 --- The chief export of Fedor is pain38 --- The most honorable way of dying is taking a bullet for Fedor. This amuses Fedor because he is bulletproof39 --- Fedor can tie his shoes with his feet40 --- Fedor once finished "The Song that Never Ends"41 --- The quickest way to a man's heart is with Fedor's fist42 --- It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Fedor can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box43 --- The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Fedor is44 --- We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, "Please don't kill me." Too bad Fedor doesn't believe in magic45 --- Fedor can drown a fish46 --- When Fedor enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off47 --- Fedor can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who Fedor is48 --- The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Fedor49 --- The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Fedor has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears50 --- Fedor was once the F.B.I's chief negotiator. His job involved calling up criminals and saying, "This is Fedor."51 --- Fedor used to beat the crap out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him52 --- The only time Fedor was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake53 --- The last digit of pi is Fedor. He is the end of all things54 --- On Neil Armstrong's second step on the moon, he found a note that said, "Fedor was here."55 --- When Fedor breaks the law, the law doesn't heal56 --- A unicorn once kicked Fedor. That is why they no longer exist57 --- Bullets dodge Fedor58 --- Fedor once partook in a pissing contest outside of a bar. His opponent drowned.

Channel: Comedy
Uploaded: May 9, 2008 at 6:21 am
Author: JulzOwnz

Length: 04:14
Rating: 4.42
Views: 2959

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